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What if the holiday season could be about joy and connection instead of stress and obligation?
In this timely episode of The Big Silence, Karena welcomes back spiritual teacher, author, and podcaster Monica Berg for a conversation we all need before the holidays. From managing difficult family dynamics to preparing your mind and heart for gatherings, Monica shares practical wisdom on how to show up with presence, set boundaries, and actually enjoy the season. Whether you're dreading a particular family member, feeling financial pressure, or just want to navigate the holidays with more peace, this episode will help you shift your mindset and reclaim your power. It's about being proactive, not reactive—and choosing to be the light in any room.
How do you prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for family gatherings and show up with gratitude instead of anxiety?
True holiday peace comes from taking responsibility for your own state of mind and choosing to be a being of sharing rather than lack.
(00:00) Revisiting Past Conversations & How We've Changed
● Monica returns three years after her first appearance (episode 25)
● How relationships evolve and why revisiting old conversations reveals growth
● The importance of being in different environments to recognize change
● An essential holiday conversation about family dynamics
(02:00) The Pressure of the Holidays & Society's "Shoulds"
● Why certain times of year create unrealistic expectations for happiness
● The pressure to be joyful and how that can sabotage gatherings
● Monica's story about feeling the weight of seasonal expectations
● Recognizing that every day can be meaningful, not just holidays
(03:00) Should You Even Go? When to Skip the Gathering
● Monica's honest take: if you hate going, maybe you shouldn't attend
● How negative energy affects everyone in the room
● The responsibility of getting your consciousness right before showing up
● Why forcing it doesn't work
(04:30) Identifying Your Triggers & Preparing for Difficult Conversations
● What to do when you're dreading the holidays but still want to attend
● Identifying the source of your anxiety
● Preparing responses ahead of time for intrusive questions
● Redirecting conversations and setting boundaries with grace
● How to say "I'm not comfortable discussing that right now" with confidence
(05:30) The Morning Routine That Changes Everything
● How to mentally prepare yourself before walking into a family gathering
● Awakening gratitude by imagining what the day would look like if you were alone
● Doing things you love in the morning to release stress and awaken joy
● Showing up with intention rather than worry
● Going in with a plan for the conversations you want to have
(07:50) Being Proactive vs. Reactive in Family Settings
● Understanding the difference between reactive and proactive behavior
● Why reactive people bring chaos, while proactive people create peace
● Taking charge of your own thoughts and emotions
● Honoring your power instead of giving it away to others' opinions
(25:00) Beyond Holiday Gatherings: Tips for All of Life
● How these tools apply to any stressful situation—meetings, dinner parties, etc.
● Addressing financial anxiety around gift-giving
● Breaking free from "Morton's Fork"—the trap of thinking there are only two options
● Creative alternatives to expensive gifts: handmade items, framed memories, heartfelt letters
● Asking better questions to find better solutions
(26:00) The Want Behind the Words: Developing Empathy
● Monica's powerful tool for not taking things personally
● Looking for what someone really wants behind their hurtful or critical words
● Getting out of your own lens to see through theirs
● Understanding that anger or meanness often reflects their own pain
● Holding yourself steady without accepting abuse
(28:00) Monica's Morning Routine & The Power of Silence
● Her simple but effective routine: coffee, prayer, exercise
● Why she wakes up before everyone else
● Karena's tip: taking walks outside when you need to reset during gatherings
● The importance of movement and fresh air for managing anxiety
(29:00) Changing Your State & Being the Light
● When you're feeling down, share with others who need support
● Volunteering or calling someone going through a difficult time
● How giving changes your state and helps you appreciate what you have
● Walking into a room with positive energy—it's contagious
● Using visualization like a white light of protection around you
● You have the power to change the energy of an entire room
Thanks for the support from our partners, including:
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Guest Resources
● Listen to her podcast: Spiritually Hungry
If this episode moved you, please consider supporting The Big Silence Foundation and exploring our resources:
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