184. The Other Side of Trauma: Surviving the Unthinkable Opened the Door to the Other Side | Susan Grau

February 05, 2026 The Big Silence

You Are Not Alone: View The Big Silence Resource GuideIf you or someone you know is in immediate crisis, please reach out right away. In the United States, you can dial or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.RAINN: Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network 24/7 Hotline: 800-656-4673, rainn.org

What if your worst childhood trauma became the gateway to your greatest gift?

In this profoundly moving episode of The Big Silence, Karena sits down with Susan Grau: soul healer, grief and addiction therapist, and Hay House bestselling author. Her near-death experience transformed a childhood marked by extreme trauma into a life devoted to healing. Susan had a childhood that most people can't imagine surviving. But she’s transformed unimaginable pain into a life of powerful healing. Now a grief and addiction therapist who works with spirits from the other side, Susan shares how she learned to survive by becoming her unstable mother's "ally," how codependency became her survival strategy, and why she believes therapists need lived experience to truly help people heal.

How do you heal from a childhood that tried to destroy you, and then use that pain to help others?

True healing comes from walking through the fire, not just studying it from afar.

(02:43) A Near-Death Experience That Changed Everything

● Susan's story of being locked in a freezer at age 5

● Growing up with sexual abuse and trafficking

● How childhood trauma shaped her entire life journey and awakened her abilities

● The beginning of her connection to the spirit world

(05:51) Growing Up with a Mother with Mental Illness

● Susan's mother: borderline personality disorder, seeing spirits, and extreme inconsistency

● Learning how to stay safe

● The confusing duality: loving and giving one moment, frightening and abusive the next

● Why Susan became her mother's "ally" while her siblings didn't understand how

● Understanding codependency as a survival strategy for children of mentally ill parents

(14:18) Addiction, Alcoholism & A Household of Dysfunction

● Growing up in a home with addiction, alcoholism, and abuse

● Her brother’s schizophrenia

● The unpredictability of never knowing which version of your parent you'd get

● How dysfunction becomes normal when it's all you know

(27:33) Her Brother's Suicide & Choosing to Become a Therapist

● Why that loss pushed her toward becoming a grief and addiction therapist

● The importance of therapists having lived experience with trauma and loss

● How walking through darkness prepares you to help others find light

(38:13) Why Your Therapist Needs to Have Walked Through Fire Too

● Why Susan doesn't want to see a therapist who hasn't experienced real trauma

● The difference between understanding suicide in "study form" vs. "real life form"

● Why therapists need therapists—and trainers need trainers

● Holding each other's hands through the healing process

(41:03) Tools for Anxiety, Staying Present & Connecting with the Other Side

● The power of "coming back to where your feet are" when anxiety hits

● Redirecting the anxiety pathway in your brain by staying present

● "What color were the flowers?" Why presence is the key to intuition

● How to know if spirits are walking beside you

You Are Not Alone: View The Big Silence Resource Guide

If you or someone you know is in immediate crisis, please reach out right away. In the United States, you can dial or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.

RAINN: Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network 24/7 Hotline: 800-656-4673