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What if the breakdown you feared was actually the doorway to your greatest sense of peace?
In this transformative episode of The Big Silence, Karena sits down with #1 New York Times bestselling author, spiritual teacher, and Dear Gabby podcast host Gabby Bernstein. From uncovering repressed childhood trauma in her mid-30s to navigating postpartum depression with courage and honesty, Gabby shares the tools that helped her move from chaos to calm. She opens up about EMDR therapy, medication without shame, reparenting the inner child, and finding relief one step at a time. Whether you’re in the depths of anxiety, grieving a loss, or simply craving a gentler way to heal, Gabby’s wisdom offers both compassion and practical next steps.
How do you combine spiritual tools and evidence-based therapy to heal trauma without shame, guilt, or overwhelm?
Healing isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about creating safety, awareness, and compassion so you can finally live in peace.
(02:06) Naming the Why Behind Patterns
● Spirituality and sobriety can plant seeds, but trauma will still surface in anxiety, addiction, or control.
● Memory of trauma can return much later in life; healing doesn’t require forcing recall.
● Recognizing “what happened to me” instead of “what’s wrong with me” reframes the path forward.
(05:09) EMDR, Demystified
● Bilateral stimulation (eye movement, tapping, sounds) opens a safe “window of tolerance.”
● Starting with a present trigger often links back to earlier wounds.
● Small issues may shift quickly; deeper trauma requires more time but reduces triggers steadily.
(09:02) Postpartum Depression: When Meditation Isn’t Enough
● Signs include panic attacks, insomnia, and suicidal thoughts. This is biochemical, not a personal failing.
● Antidepressants can create a baseline of safety so therapy becomes effective.
● Meds are not a shortcut but a foundation; Gabby paired them with three therapy sessions a week.
(14:37) Grief Without Guilt
● Approach grief in doses: feel some, then step back before re-engaging.
● Notice when numbing shows up; honor it as a protective strategy.
● Relief through TV, rest, or joy is part of healthy grieving, not a failure.
(18:51) Getting Unstuck: The 3-Question Inventory
● After each trigger, ask: 1) What triggered me? 2) What do I feel? 3) How do I run from it?
● Recognize patterns as protective, not personality flaws.
● Writing it down builds compassion and creates room for change.
(20:30) Reparenting Yourself with the 4 S’s
● Safe: Breathwork, sleep, and grounding to calm your nervous system.
● Seen: Validate your wins and speak to yourself with compassion.
● Soothed: Make therapy and support part of your routine.
● Secure: Consistency builds an inner foundation of trust and resilience.
(24:54) Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy: Proceed with Care
● Should only be done with trained clinicians under clinical guidelines.
● Medication conflicts exist; research protocols carefully.
● Curiosity is valid, but sobriety and safety must guide decisions.
(28:57) Resources & Next Steps
● Read Gabby’s book Happy Days for deeper practices.
● Tune into Dear Gabby for live coaching and tools you can try right away.
Guest Resources
● Follow Gabby on Instagram: @gabbybernstein
● Visit her website: gabbybernstein.com
● Listen to her podcast: Dear Gabby
● Explore her NYT bestseller book: Happy Days
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